


Routine Procedure

by aebel



Category: Half-Life
Genre: Angst, Dialogue Heavy, Domestic, Drabble Collection, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Sharing a Bed, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:20:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25198381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aebel/pseuds/aebel
Summary: collection of drabbles feat. freehoun. Past and present of every day post-apocalyptic life
Relationships: Barney Calhoun/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 4
Kudos: 110





	1. dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for any grammatical errors, English is not my first language !

Every morning, Gordon Freeman would wake up. He would roll over. He would attempt to cling to the last lingering warmth of sleep. And about 30 minutes later, he would give in and finally roll out of bed, groaning. The previous day's anxieties still clung to his mind.

He would look over in the dim light of the cold, concrete walls, only to see Barney Calhoun, safe in the blankets besides him. The anxiety does not melt away--it is still there, although it is lulled by his being. Something about him is soothing. How calm his face looks. How messy his hair is. How him just being there, meant that he felt safe with Gordon. That he trusted him.

  
Every morning, Barney would wake up a few hours after Gordon. He would yawn loud and stretch, just as drowsy and sluggish as Gordon had been. Gordon would sit at the edge of the bed, still exhausted, and Barney would rest his chin on Gordon's head and hold him close. And every morning, it would make Gordon's heart ache.

  
After coffee, toast, and a hearty dosage of allergy medication, Gordon would sit quietly at the bedside, taking in the sounds of Barney's low voice. He never wanted him to stop talking.

  
This early in the morning, Barney would always ask him simple, lighthearted questions--how he slept, what he would do today. Small talk came natural, and Gordon figured it just a product of his southern upbringing.

Small talk, big talk, any way of talk--it was all the same. What meant the most to Gordon was these moments, where he felt trusted. Loved. Barney would watch Gordon sign his answers in careful reverence.

  
Every morning, Gordon would button his shirt. Adjust his tie. He and Barney would leave together, laughing as they fumbled with their keys and shuffled awkwardly out of the small door. Barney would grab his shirt collar and pull him into a deep, gentle kiss. They would stand together for a moment shyly, only to walk down separate ends of the hall. They had work to do after all.

  
Every day was precious time. Gordon knew this. The cynic in him knew it couldn't be the same forever. But today, he's in love. He smiles and makes his way down the hall towards the HEV test chamber. Who cares if he was late today. What's the worst that could happen?


	2. dusk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating this sooner..! again, please tell me if my English is acceptable.

So, as it turns out, nothing can stay the same forever.

  
Tonight, Barney wakes up at an ungodly hour. He has no idea what hour exactly, but everything in his body tells him it isn't one where the angels sing. It isn't too difficult for him to roll out of bed--with a little help from gravity, he doesn't roll, so much as he trips and lands flat on his face with a heavy _thunk_ that has the sleeping form next to him shift in it's blanketed cocoon.

  
Carefully raising to his feet, he peers over at one Gordon Freeman, curled up into himself like a baby.

  
They're alive. They made it.

  
At this point, "alive" is the least for a lifetime trauma and battle scars, but he'll take what he can get. Gordon's face is not calm in his sleep--he can tell by the way his jaw is, that his teeth are clenched. He has dark circles under his eyes. His skin is sallow and worn with thin worry lines. He has acne scars and dried blood on his left cheek. His beard is mangled and still has grime in it. Barney thinks he's beautiful.

Gordon is just a man. He's a man who's scared and alone just like everyone else, but expected to be everything at once for these people. That's all over now, but is it really? They're both so different. So much has happened. He's hesitant. 

It's all too good. He's awake, but everything feels dreamlike. 

Barney presses a soft kiss against Gordon's forehead, lingering a moment. Tonight, right now, there is nothing to worry about. Tomorrow morning, they'll see Alyx, and they'll all go for a walk together again. It's all so good. 

-

  
And in the afternoon, Barney finds himself tangled in the bed sheets with Gordon again. Sitting close to him, his arms around Gordon's gaunt shoulders, kissing sweetly. He pulls away when he feels the shorter man lightly squeeze his midsection.

  
"I think I love you." Gordon signs slowly. Barney chuckles to himself and continues kissing down his open shirt. "You think, huh?" he says between kisses. "Do ya think maybe that has something to do with me doin' this?" To prove his point, he kisses a particularly sensitive spot between Gordon's collar.

  
"Do it again, and I'll be able to say" he signs weakly, hands shaking. He is smiling, for once. 

  
Satisfied, Barney pulls away for a moment, looking to the side. It feels natural, to be caring for Gordon again, to see him here, alive. His boyfriend, Safe, with him. It's too good. There has to be a catch. Too much has happened for there not to be a catch.

  
"Y'know something?"

"Know what? Are you alright?"

  
Barney shakes his head, smiling. He want's to cry. He isn't quite sure what he's feeling. "I don't believe you."

  
"What?"

"When you say you love me. I don't believe you at all."

  
He pulls away, hands still on Gordon's shoulders. "I'm never going to. Hell, Gordon, we're different people now. I love you, but I hardly know you now."

Gordon looks incredibly confused. 

  
"Do you..." he is moving his hands carefully. Barney hangs on to every motion, and moves backwards a bit to give him room.

"Do you want to get to know me...?"

"I think so."

  
"You think?"

Barney laughs shakily and presses his forehead to Gordon's. "Yeah. I think so, without a doubt."

  
Barney hears a snort of exasperated laughter, and feels himself being pulled back into Gordon's chest.

"I'm sorry, Gordon. It's just all so new, is all. This."

He feels Gordon sigh. 

Taking it as invitation, Barney fades into him and they lay there longer. He doesn't have too many good memories, but this one, this one is nice. He wants to make new ones with Gordon.

The worst has already happened. It's the healing that's going to be harder. 


End file.
